the doctor said two more weeks to go, once the anti-biotics are done… hoping that it is true… no more than the next week and a half left… seems like I get a couple hours or so of being alert, in between naps… continue to run out of energy so quickly… I miss my writing… my sketches… talking with other people… being with other people… It’s getting old! 🙂
Since I love “order” and “structure” – which seem so sadly lacking in our world these days – I am going to attempt to compartmentalize my life a little more.. if such a thing is possible… 🙂 Hoping this will keep me a bit more focused in the use of my time.
First I want to get back to writing more… and turn my “Musings” back into just saying the things that are running around in me.
philips-consulting.com will continue to take care of business consulting and personal counseling.
I am thinking about another web-site for family things and pictures… may even have another site for my sketches. Perhaps something like this will help to keep me out of trouble…. 🙂
we shall see…. hoping anyway….
Starting to feel human again… was able to stay alert for a couple 4 to 6 hr clips yesterday and actually “do” a couple things… then enjoyed 7 straight hours of sleep for the first time in my adult life.
The area got hit with hurricane winds and a “bomb cyclone”… whatever that is… trees and limbs were down all over the property and the kid’s trampoline was totally relocated, lifted straight up and then redeposited else where… 🙂 Nothing serious here though… lots of serious elsewhere… we never lost power… there are many areas right around us still without power today. There was a gas line explosion in Wenham with fire everywhere shutting down a street very near to where we are… that one even made the “News”….
Then I wrote a little bit last nite… and pushed the “post” button, just as we lost our internet connection… also ended up losing the “post”… may try again later today… 🙂
With no internet, that also meant no TV… so… I actually attacked finishing my sketch of the Wallace’s visit to the B&B, back in 2011… Need to say some things about “Relationships”… soon… I’ll tie it in somewhere today… 🙂
I am thankful and very pleased to report about my visit to the doctor, just an hour ago. Thought I would post it here on my blog to bring those who follow my “Musings” into the flow of what has been happening.
Never been this sick before…. it is pneumonia… doctor was happy with the progress this week,… says “it will take another 2 weeks to feel like you used to feel.” I needed to correct him though and made sure he understood that, at almost 83, I will never feel the way I used to feel…. 🙂
Hopefully I will be able to start doing my walking after that two weeks…. maybe finish up some sketches I have wanted to do… and begin to write again…
We shall see. I’m not in charge of that department…. actually not very many departments… but… “in so far as I am able, I will_____________”… the rest is up to Him.
Must be time for another nap…. 🙂
Philip’s next sketching assignment is a tough one… 4 people in a photo… not sure how long it will take me to do or how well I can sketch such happy smiling people… pray for the old fella as he works his way thru this… very special folks here…. 🙂
Probably will have some things to say about the importance of relationships of every kind… 🙂
This the sketch I promised… I had no clue how to draw “white hair” with a pencil… I just looked bald till I put some hair on…. hmmm… then the dark mustache turned my “smile” into a “snarl” and I became a tough guy…. hmmmmm… maybe this is how I really really see myself…
I am still alive! 🙂 🙂
Starting to feel human again… got in my full 10 lap (1 mile) walk at Gordon this morning… good things continue to happen on every front… I will try to fill everything in as we work our way thru another busy week.
I am posting a new picture of a much healthier looking Philip, than the last one I posted. My goal is to try and do a sketch of myself tonight or tomorrow… 🙂
We shall see what we shall see…. 🙂
ya think I should try to sketch myself?????
not sure I have the courage…. 🙂
Cardio doctor’s visit Monday was beyond anything I had been hoping for… I was lobbying for 3 things...
1) – I take 2 different pills to lower my blood pressure… had lobbied my regular doctor on my B/P being too low… he cut the dosage of one pill in half… but… it was still very low… so… I kept daily records for over a month, made my case and cardio lady agreed… she cut the dosage of that same pill in half once again… as I continue to record my daily readings… for next time… since I continue to still be running “low”… 🙂
2) – Next was my diuretics… I was taking 2 different pills (3 of one of them (Torsemide) and one other pill) for eliminating water… my regular doctor was concerned about my kidneys so he had cut me back to two Torsemide… then I got a bad kidney report from blood tests, so he dropped the Torsemide to just 1 dose)… I kept lobbying on Monday since my legs are looking normal most of the time and my weight seems to have stabilized around 195… cardio lady then eliminated the one other pill entirely and the Torsemide got cut in half …. yessssss!!!!!
3) – My biggest issue though was my INR readings (blood thinning test) that determines the amount of Warfarin (Coumadin) I have to take… I was having WWIII with the “clinic” that cardio lady had sent us to… up till Monday I had been self-medicating for over a month since my trying to reason with the Clinic Nurse who finally said ok to what I proposed… then basically “had to get off the phone”….but never plugged the dosage into their system… she hadn’t returned Ellen’s calls until yesterday (no comment on the silly conversation)… I think cardio doctor must have said something… since the doctor had agreed with what I was saying… and officially put me down for the dosage I had been self-medicating for the past month… 🙂
They are happy with the sugar testing every 3 months… but I still check it myself maybe once a week…. helps me keep an eye on it so I don’t do anything stupid… who? me? do something stupid? 🙂 🙂
My balance continues to get better with each trip to the Balance and Wellness Center…
Cardio lady was thrilled with my walking progress… I am working on a Mon/Tues – Thurs/Fri walk schedule at Gordon College… now able to do all 10 laps each time, to get in the full mile… yesterday was the first time I broke 3 min laps… 29.5 min pace…
Sleeping has become what I do best… 2 to 4 hrs at a clip these days… 8 or 9 hrs at night… then one or two naps during the day.. for an hour or two… it’s a hard-knock life… 🙂
I never expected the Lord to let me get back to this kind of health… I had talked it all out with Him… if He had His reasons why I was not to be another Caleb, that was fine… Your Will Be Done, Lord… Needless to say… I am beyond thankful…
It fits very well with my understanding of “insofar as it depends on me… I will_________” My understanding of that is to continue to give everything (that I can still sorta-kinda do) …. my very best shot… some say I “overdo” everything… 🙂 sorry… I’m gonna push myself till their ain’t no push left… 🙂
May send a sketch up later on if I can get it done… wanted to get this health update out… busy around here with both Jen and Dano away again until Sunday… 🙂
Not only are we all unique… and see things differently for the all the reasons already mentioned… but… we are all at different places on our journeys… one of my best friends, John Turner, that I met several years ago… we are as different as two people can be… he loves guns… works part time in a gun store… goes to gun shows… even runs an annual machine gun shoot up in Vermont…. I will never own a gun again… had two a long, long time ago… got rid of both of them.
and… while JT loves all the exotic specialty beers they make these days in Vermont… I drink Genesee... sometimes even PBR, if it’s on sale and cheaper than Genesee … then… I went and switched to plain seltzer down here in Wenham. 🙂 He has long hair and a very full beard…. I have a goatee, very short hair and tease him constantly that I will be happy to give him a haircut and shave for nada…. he has no interest in getting married…. I have been more than happily married for 50 years… and on and on…
What we do have in common is that we are both following the Lord with all that we are… to discover more and more of His Life, as He works that Life into us by His Spirit… and neither of us will ever stop seeking more… regardless where we are in our individual journeys….. just going on in our lives… being who we are… where we are… each day…
Meet John Turner....
Our grandsons, Finn and Henry, celebrate their 6th birthday tomorrow... but…. they got to open their birthday presents from nana and poppa a day early so they could wear them to school today…. wonder what that was all about? 🙂
Do ya think they might be wearing them on Sunday too????? 🙂 🙂 🙂
thankful to report that all my home health visits have been stopped… in the morning I will be able to take my next INR blood test (checks how quickly the blood clots for folks like me who are on warfarin) and this will be done on the new machine that Medicare has provided for me to do my own testing… I will get to test my blood sugar in the morning as well … my sugar has also been very good.. the doctors actually only look at the blood sugar once every 3 months (a special test that gives them an average for that period)… but… I do look at my sugar every so often just to make sure it is ok…. hope to start lobbying soon to get off my “sugar meds”… 🙂
Have already lobbied on my blood pressure meds (because my B/P was getting way too low)… the doctor cut one dose in half – yes!!!! It’s still too low… so I will now lobby with the other doctor (cardio lady) on Monday about that one again.
I am sleeping great these days…. and walking almost every day. Thanks to Jennifer’s gift to us…. a “membership” at Gordon to use their athletic facility… which has every workout machine known to man – (all of which I haven’t even thought about trying to use) … yet… 🙂 the biggie on this though is the great indoor track… 10 trips around is a mile…. after just 2 weeks where I began with only three “5 min laps”… I am thrilled to report working my way up to ten “3 min laps”… it has been a long time since I was able to walk a whole mile… much less even thinking about breaking a 30 min mile pace….!!!! 🙂
Jennifer also told us about the Balance and Wellness Center at Gordon, where I have been accepted into a 6 week program which is paid for by Medicare… 🙂 thank you all once again for continuing to work in order to make all my “freebies” possible… 🙂
After getting all of Jennifer’s help in my health department… I had to give it a try… and do a sketch of her…. saying thanks… I love you….
Hope she can handle it!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
I started my sketching from a picture of Nate way back there at Christmas…. found it much easier for me to draw from other sketches than from real pictures… especially pictures of people I know… but…I finally started giving it a shot, hoping I wouldn’t offend anyone… 🙂 a bit of a challenge since I am a “pencil sketcher”… not a portrait painter… 🙂
It seems to be working though… people are responding very positively… so… I thought I would try it a little more regularly… I remember our son Jon’s favorite quote : “Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal” … so…. since my goal is to honor and bless people… especially my family and friends… I am ignoring my lack of confidence that takes my eye off that goal…
Tonight’s sketch then… is to honor Jon and Amy … not just for the quote… but… for presenting us with 3 wonderful grand-kids… let me introduce you to Poppa’s sketch of little Charlie… the youngest of the grands … 🙂
As most folks know, my brother Marc was my 12th birthday present…. you remember… right?… my only birthday present that year?… 🙂
My folks already had 3 boys then started a 2nd family 12 years later… first my brother. Marc… and then kept trying to see if they could have a girl… they did… my sister Maris… that 2nd family thing seemed to happen a lot back then…
One of my mom’s favorite cousins, received a little sister that way… her new cousin was 11 years younger than my mom… today she is 90… when she was growing up my mom was busy having babies… so…my “second cousin Margaret” was only 8 when I was born…
After all these years, Margaret somehow connected with me on Facebook… we banter back and forth regularly these days… she reads all my blog postings and even says nice things to me about them… which, of course, have continued to encourage the old fella in the things he writes… and now… with the things he sketches.
Cousin Margaret was a “no brainer” as my selection for the next person to honor in my sketchbook of “honorees”…. she will probably know it before anybody else does… so it’s ok to tell her… 🙂
Here is my sketch of a very special person in my life… Margaret Hetzel….
I do love what I do these days… I guess ellen just wanted to share my joy with those who follow my blog… so… she took a picture to post up here, so everyone could see how I get all wrapped up in my work… !!! 🙂
Unreal… this is making for many conversations with folks about this young fella… not just a picture from the newspaper… it was the front page… with Martin Luther King…. 🙂
So… in Chapter One of the Confessions of St. Philip, I said this about trying to sketch the drawing of Jesus smiling… “I couldn’t catch it… couldn’t get Him to smile… this is what I sketched… and couldn’t seem to change it, no matter what I tried to do…”
I posted the sketch that I worked so hard on, as I tried to show “Jesus Smiling”…. the sketch I put up last night … that kept changing as I tweaked it… from Jesus crying out, to Jesus in agony, to Jesus just screaming or grimacing in some way… but I could not get it to look like the original drawing of Jesus laughing, the one that I had finally posted the night before.
I talked with Ellen about it… where she suggested I might think about how I would: “need to have that laughter in your heart, Phil… in order to sketch it… you never laugh, Phil.” It went right into my heart… I talked to the Lord about it. I asked Him to do what I knew only He could do…. give me His laughing heart…
Always difficult for me to do… for a hundred different reasons. The biggest one, I think, was what I had seen and felt was my calling… the knowledge that we have been born into a world that is at war... much to yet talk about here…. I will steal another picture that shows this world we live in, as Philip sees it… not a laughing matter…
gonna give it a whirl on my sketch board… but it may take me a while… 🙂
We attend the Anglican Church that our children are part of… they have a 9:00am service, then a 10:00am coffee/fellowship time, then an 11:00 higher church service…
The family goes to the early service, then we hang out with everybody during the 10:00 time… this last week they began a presentation during that hour on the Confessions of St. Augustine… it has been very interesting.
Tonight, I am bringing you the only copy available anywhere of the first Chapter of the Confessions of St. Philip... 🙂
The last sketch I posted was the sketch I was working from in order to show Jesus laughing… not somber, not dying, not suffering, not wimpy, not crowned with thorns, not being beaten, crucified and dead on a cross… just Jesus laughing.
I couldn’t catch it… couldn’t get Him to smile… this is what I sketched… and couldn’t seem to change it, no matter what I tried to do…
If you tune in tomorrow… I will tell you what Ellen had to say to me about all that…
Chapter 2 of the Confessions of St. Philip….
on the ‘morrow…
Knowing our purpose for being here on this earth has created all kinds of obsessions for those He has placed here… Why am I here? What’s it all about? Is there some purpose to my life? Father sent His Son… with a purpose… to do the will of His Father… just 4 little words was Jesus’ response… “Thy will be done”… that was Jesus’ obsession… to do only what the Father wanted Him to do.
Philip’s purpose… the reason Philip is here… is to follow Jesus… to give my life to Him… to agree with Father, to let Jesus live His life in Philip… so… His will… will be done... in my life… as well. For that to happen… my choice has been to make Jesus my obsession... what a great choice that has been… Jesus is my Magnificent Obsession...
and His joy is my joy… not my sketch though… couldn’t capture His joy…. it is His joy that is my joy anyway… not my ability to capture it in my own sketch…. 🙂
….wave after wave of Japanese soldiers (150/200 each time) all day/all night over 24hours… that first battle of Edson Ridge cost us 31 Marine Lives… over 600 Japanese died in the attack… there were only 300 of our 700 men left that were fit to fight in the final battle of the Ridge… most of them unable to fight because of exhaustion and disease… the final battle took 53 more of our Marine’s lives….. over 2500 Japanese soldiers died, sending bayonet charge after bayonet charge into constant defensive fire…. this victory was a decisive turn in the war against Japan… and a complete miracle...
I watched History Channel’s 45 min presentation of the “Shootout at Guadalcanal”…. I was stunned… they had nothing left…
These memorial sketches have been to honor all those who have given their lives for us…. my plan is to continue with more and more of these sketches…. because….
“Greater love has no one than this….. than to lay down his life for his friends.”
This next sketch is to honor the one who not only laid down his life for us…. but then rose from the dead in order to be able to give his risen life TO us….
as they returned from the field… they were all older warriors… fatigued… totally drained… and thankful to still be alive…
as I sketched… I wondered if this is what Philip would have looked like if he had been born in 1925, instead of 1935….
So… it all began as we talked about an “Artist Kit” we had given to our artist grand-daughter, Lian, for Christmas… somehow I got into a story about how I was able to get a passing grade of “C” in Latin by sketching Roman Soldiers in my Latin notebook that contained my non-passing academic work…. 🙂
The family started encouraging me over Christmas to try it again… do some sketching… perhaps trying to find something for philip to stay busy with, in order to keep him out of trouble…. 🙂
That led to my first attempt… Nate all dressed up and looking cool in his new leather jacket and sunglasses… I am calling this one: “COOL HAND NATE”
Of course… I had to try my hand at one of those Roman guys which kicked off this whole new hobby thing of sketching… 🙂
But… my real passion is to sketch U.S. Soldiers… had a couple very emotional experiences in December having to do with my responses to several different areas… especially about WWII… and the difference in all the wars since then… also my brother Marc’s helicopter years in Vietnam… part of the reason I related so emotionally with the movie “We Were Soldiers” … every time “Snake” flew back to the battle zone… I had a picture of what my brother was doing regularly for 2 years in Vietnam. Like I said… lots of emotions… I cried a lot during December, 2017…. and I remain thankful that the Lord kept Marc (and Snake) safe thru all the horror…
This one above is a memorial for Ellen’s father who landed at Utah Beach with Patton’s 3rd Army, 4th Armored Division as a scout… (forward observers had a 200% casualty rate)… her dad went thru the rest of it with Patton… some of the most ferocious fighting in Europe…. from the beach right up thru the liberation of some of the concentration camps… only had a scratch… in all that time.
God has such a marvelous purpose for our lives… some of us are taken early… some given more years… and He doesn’t always explain Himself…. Patton was taken the moment it all ended…. his purpose for being here was completed… Thomas McCloy was given enough extra years to produce 4 wonderful children… one of those was God’s very special gift to me… Ellen. Then the Lord took her dad at only 43 years… He had completed His purpose for Tom McCloy… I am looking forward to finally meeting her Dad when the Lord has finished with what He has for philip here… but… not rushing that day…. 🙂
This one continues my hope to honor not just Tom McCloy and Marc Wolff… but all the veterans and their comrades who lost their lives…. in all the wars… regardless of the whys of their being sent to fight… sadly war changed during Korea, MacArthur was fired and war was politicized… we no longer fought wars to win them… which is why I loved this fox-hole sketch as the artist shared the fox-hole with his company commander… and called it “A War to be Won”…. it was the eyes that grabbed me… and the bullet hole in the helmet.
Nate loves to come over to watch Patriots Football with poppa… that is all well and wonderful… at the same time… there are important lessons to learn for every young man about responsibility… so…. he must now bring his “special pass” with him to get into the “The Patriots Fan Cave” … as well as wearing his “play calling wrist wrap” to make sure Brady gets the right play calls from the sideline… 🙂
Do you think he can do it? hmmmmmm…. we shall see….
Thought it would be a good way to end the year… so I want to acknowledge our very gifted son-in-law who transformed what was a simple “Market Stand”… to sell fruit and veggies from the “farm”… into this incredible place where we now live. He and his brother designed everything and put it all together…. unbelievable to someone like me with my very limited giftings in that area… 🙂
Then… he outdid himself by blessing his wife this Christmas…. somehow building this in their bedroom …. with her not knowing it was happening… these are her words: “And now for Christmas he builds me a reading nook in our bedroom as my surprise present, using an old door from the market stand as the bench. I don’t think my heart can handle all this.”
Whadaguy!!!! Please note where the old door came from…. 🙂
It is a good thing that Christmas is only an annual event…!!!!
Great fun… great family time this year.. but…. seems like it began the beginning of December and won’t really/really end until January 1st… 🙂
This was Christmas Day….
and this was all before Jonathan and family arrived…. 🙂
who else could be mr. cool…. at Christmas…
I tried… but failed… even with ‘camouflage’…. 🙂
nice support socks though…. 🙂
Interesting couple of days here… I’ve had quite a few different conversations with the Lord…. asking Him where to go or not to go with my “musings”… I was telling Him, I felt that I had written and shared about everything He has shown me… anything I would say would be just turning the diamond again, trying to show another facet… and I just didn’t feel that was necessary at this point.
He agreed with me…. and you know how much I enjoy people agreeing with me… 🙂
There are probably about 3 books in my archives up here… should anyone be interested in reading them… the story of my life… my death… and my resurrection…. that first 32 years doing everything the world said was important… the next 32 years doing everything the Church said was important… and now working thru the last 32 discovering little by little what the Lord says is important….
My musings will become much more family news… what’s happening here where we live… health updates… ellen’s next creations… all the kind of stuff that I thought Facebook was for… but… it isn’t any more… it has become a whole lot-a-bunch of other things instead. I do plan to put my little daily note on Facebook… about my latest blog posting, with the usual link… and then look thru (as quickly as I can) 🙂 all the postings from the folks we know… to see what is happening in their lives.
Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas… may your New Year be filled with everything the Lord has planned for us.
yes it is true… on and on she goes and where she stops nobody knows…. 🙂
once upon a time, this was a beat up old bookcase… voila… ellen works her magic… it looks brand new and decorated toooo!!!!
The grand-kids here in Wenham have figured out what has been added to Ellen’s Village… have you? 🙂 Hint…. it is on this table…. 🙂
ellen’s next antic…. in preparation for our weeklong family celebration of Christmas…. was to set up her little Christmas Village …. a long standing ellenesque tradition…
Every year she adds a little something to it… the grandkids have to observe and figure out what she has added each year… hmmmmm… any thoughts….??? 🙂
Shortly after my collision with God in 1968… I was introduced to what are called “the deeper life authors”…. I began devouring, not only the bible, but deeper life author after author… we set up a booktable in our apartment of all these deeper life authors… then set up a non-profit 501c3 corporation named Deeper Life, Inc…. which then became Deeper Life Christian Bookstore in 1970.
Right up there on the top of the list was T. Austin Sparks… I couldn’t get enough… he had a way of saying things that went right straight into my heart… the only problem I had… was that… what I would read, I would then interpret by my understanding of God, Christianity, and Religion… I would interpret from that place in God where I happened to be when I read it… and… of course… since Philip was always on the “cutting edge” of what God was doing… the things Sparks was saying were always things about the religious systems I had come out of…
That went on until 1999… and my pity party painting my picket fence… then finally… by 2009 I began to see the death process which made things clearer and clearer about why Philip had to go thru all the painful experiences to eliminate my natural man… and replace that with His very own Life…. the weaker I would get… the stronger He would get…
Remember when I said how it made me feel pretty important when someone agreed with me that had died 50 or 100 years ago… T. Austin Sparks died in 1971… he has said a lot about it… “True power from God’s standpoint is Calvary power. Christ crucified is the power of God. What is Calvary power? Well, it is emptiness of self, you and I being emptied of self” …and Sparks was talking about a scripture penned by Paul… who died a few years before Sparks… 🙂
“Jesus said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me”
Much more yet to say….
Here is another view of yesterday’s posting about ellen’s antics.... it shows the doorway from the garage which is the family’s entrance of choice into the Market Stand... the picture is her favorite from Vermont by Ohra Moore and titled The Road Home…
sorry… not missing this Winter in Vermont… 🙂
Hopefully the skis are self-explanatory… 🙂 I am thinking the scene might just change… come Spring….
This creative lady… ” lady ellen of wenham”… has just created a name for her palace here… 🙂